When It All Burns Down

The spiritual liberation of Russ Anderson.

Russ is a Canadian-born fellow in his 60s that made a pretty penny in the business world. He reminded me a lot of Peter Gallagher’s character from American Beauty — beaming, confident, super charismatic. He and I sat for coffee after yoga one morning and he shared his story, which blew me away. 

Russ hasn’t always been a spiritual guy. Actually, it was quite the opposite. “I lived by timetables,” he said. “I was always on the clock, always catching the next flight.” For years, he was on a plane every 72 hours for work. Russ sensed a spiritual side to him, but he never dug in. No time, he’d say. 

Then came COVID. 

In September 2020, Russ lost his personal assistant of many years. He was looking to replace her and ran an ad on a local classified site. He got tons of disappointing responses. Then, one evening he received an amazing reply — thoughtful and professional. “I had to meet her immediately,” he said. He drove an hour into the city and met Melissa — a confident, well-spoken woman with a great series of life experiences. Russ hired her on the spot and she started the next day. 

“Do you meditate?” she asked him. This was day one. 

“I mean, sorta. Kinda. Not really,” Russ said. “Who’s got time?”

Melissa smiled and asked, “Would you like to try now?”  

So began a daily practice. And Russ quickly developed a liking for it — the calmness, the stillness, the clarity. He explored other practices as well, like EFT, conscious breathing, meditative nature walks.

Over the next two months, Russ’s world opened up. His days were filled with the regular business stuff, but along with it came this new regime of self-discovery, and a growing appetite for physical, mental, and spiritual growth. 

Then came Thursday, March 25, 2021. Russ took his dog Drake out for a walk along the Kin Trail, on the west side of his small Canadian town. Russ lived on an acreage three miles west of town. When they got out of the truck, he noticed this particular day somehow felt different. “The air felt different, the trail felt different, Drake seemed different,” Russ said. “The Porcupine Hills in the distance seemed different. Everything was so much more alive and energetic!” All the sudden, Russ was overwhelmed with gratitude. He felt genuine appreciation for every single moment he had ever lived. He looked up at the big blue sky above and shouted, “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am so grateful for this moment, thank you for everything.”

And then, softly yet audibly, he said aloud: I forgive all of my past. 

*

Russ had a fragmented family life. He is the youngest of four boys. There was no shortage of what he called “unnecessary squabbles,” many of which turned vicious and violent. These always stayed with him. Then it recent years, it was the separation of his marriage and children that created a gnawing unrest. “My business life was firing on all cylinders, and that was truly amazing,” he said. “And yet, this rumination always persisted. In the background was always this question of WHY. My past was like a heavy anchor, I couldn’t let it go. It was becoming untenable.”

“Something had to give.”  

The night after that walk, March 26, Russ was listening to a meditation podcast. There was a Supermoon coming up, a powerful time for setting intentions. And he heard: If you wake up in the middle of the night and share your intention — when the moon is at its brightest — then it’s far more likely to come true. At about 4 am he got up for the bathroom. He lifted the blinds from the window and saw the moon in all her glory — a giant, luminous oracle of light cascading a perfectly intense beam directly and unobstructedly through his window. Russ took two full deep breaths, then said aloud: 

“I give thanks for everything in my life, and I let go of all my past.” 

With that, Russ curled back into bed, smiled as he patted his dog, and peacefully went back to sleep. 

*

The next day, Russ got up around 7:00 am. It was a particularly windy morning. He sat at his desk, working and watching some videos. Drake was by the door and begging him for a walk. Russ ignored him. It’s too windy, he said. But Drake wouldn’t have it. He whimpered and begged and finally Russ gave in. They got into his truck and went out for a short hike.

The walk was quite refreshing. They went about five miles from his home. Afterwards Russ stopped to pick up some coffee for his daughter and her Mom, then went over for a short visit. As he was leaving their house, he began driving home and noticed smoke in the sky. “Looks like there’s a fire in town,” he said. “I just hope the fire department keeps it away from the golf course.” 

Then, his phone rang. It was his friend Stephane, who was staying with him. Stephane was exasperated and talking a mile a minute. “They came to the door and said to get the heck out,” he said. “We’re taking the cats and we’re going!” As Russ started to ask a question, Stephane already hung up. 

Adrenaline started pumping. Russ drove faster. A number of roads were blocked by emergency services. Now he could see the fire wasn’t in town, but just west of it. Was it his property? Unlikely, he thought. The fields nearby are covered in spring stubble, not much fuel for fire.

From a distance, everything looked normal. It was a nice sunny spring day. The stubble along the road basked in the sunlight. Then, as Russ turned the bend and arrived at the start of his driveway, everything changed. “It looked like a war zone,” he said. The air was black. The sky was covered with a thick, foggy darkness. The sun was no longer visible. 

He drove further along the driveway. As he passed through the smoke and shadows, it came into view: the steaming remains of a concrete foundation — the very one that housed his home for the last 14 years. 

Not even a toothpick was left burning.

All of Russ’s possessions were now gone. Every photo, every hard drive, every file. His parents’ keepsakes. Gifts from his children. Everything — gone. Vaporized in a New York minute.

Russ stood, stunned. All he heard was the crackling embers of his previous life. And then a funny thought crept in: Wow, it said. That was one powerful intention.

*

As Russ drove away, a strange feeling took over. It wasn’t sadness — but a sense of lightness and liberation. Freedom. “I literally only have the clothes on my back,” he said to himself. And with that, he started giggling.

Russ got to his friend’s home, where lots of people were waiting for him. They greeted him with tears and hugs. But Russ just stood there, grinning. “I think they thought I had a stroke or something,” he said. “All I could do was stand there with a smile on my face.” 

“Do you know the hardest part of the whole situation?” he asked me. “Everyone wanted me to be sadder than I was.” 

Now, here’s the wildest part: 

Russ had a shop which housed all his tools and equipment, along with about a dozen work trailers, a tractor, etc. The whole thing was completely unscathed. The fire burnt a perfect circle around the shop, then went directly for his home. As Russ puts it: “It took everything that was personal, and left everything utility.”

Russ, along with his truck, dog, and the clothes on his back, moved to another property he owned. It faced a lake and had a large shop building on it. He converted the end that faced the lake into a living accommodation with large windows. It was calm and pristine. “I wish I’d done this years ago,” he said. 

Now Russ is wintering in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and as he puts it, “going where the wind blows.” No timetables, no baggage, no past. Only what’s in front of him, right now. 

*

Russ’s story, to me, is one of perfect transformation. He stated his intent and the Universe responded swiftly. It was especially fitting that it took place during COVID. I’ve mused that the pandemic, challenging and unbearable as it was, served as a global chrysalis — an opportunity to go into this period as one thing and come out another. As many have heard, when a caterpillar does this, it turns into a gooey mush, then reconstitutes as a gorgeous butterfly.

I see little difference with Russ. And should he flutter across your path, you’ll see his wings, his colors, his radiant demeanor, and you may feel the same. If anything, his story will remind you of what seems to be true: Whenever we lose something, we gain something greater in return.